Chris and I are complicated creatures. Many times we have to put ourselves through a circus to come to a seemingly simple solution, but the process is sometimes essential for us. The point of this all.... we are most likely not going to sell our house right now. Although we would like a little more space and a fenced yard, we just don't feel like those things are worth an extra $120,000-$150,000 (at the very minimum) at this point. Although this townhouse may not be our ideal house for long term... the truth is, it is just fine for us right now. I would much rather have peace of mind financially than be in a new place and situation, not being able to really enjoy it, because we are stretching too much financially. We are going to make what we have now work for the next couple of years, and we are already brainstorming away about what we can do to make this house fit our family better. What we have already is great.
It is funny how the more we toyed with the idea of staying here the other day... it just seemed to click finally, and we felt peaceful...when the whole process of trying to sell and figuring out what we can afford has been stressful. It feels so great to decide to be happy with what we have now, instead of always saying: "It will all be good when....? (I'm sure most of you can fill in the blank with something from your own lives). I definitely know that we won't be in this house forever, but I think that it is so easy to get caught up in the idea of living a certain lifestyle, and then all of a sudden you have an epiphany and realize that you already have everything that you want and need.
The other night I went in to check on Sofia when she was sleeping, and she woke up for a second and asked me to "Snuggle her." As I laid there with her, everything in my life just seemed to make sense for a moment, and I all of a sudden had a feeling of love pour over me confirming what a sweet life it is indeed. I am going to try to start living more in the moment and not wait around for circumstances to change to make me happy. I am not a perfect person, wife, mom... and some days can be more challenging than others, but in the grand scheme of things, I am living the sweet life. I can choose to be happy on a daily basis, and it would be wise for me to do so considering how fortunate I am. Anyways my friends... this probably makes no sense to any of you reading my jumbled of thoughts, but it's my blog, and you are all choosing to read it after all.
I was just thinking about the lyrics of an India Arie song that I love that reminds me of this whole topic... so I will leave you with them (it is the song playing when you open my page). Peace Out.
"There's Hope"
[Verse 1:]
Back when I had a little
I thought that I needed a lot
A little was over rated,
but a lot was a little too complicated
You see-Zero didn't satisfy me
A million didn't make me happy
That's when I learned a lesson
That it's all about your perception
Hey-are you a pauper or a superstar
So you act, so you feel, so you are
It ain't about the size of your car
It's about the size of the faith in your heart
[Chorus:]
There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that
[repeat]
There's hope
[Verse 2:]
Off in the back country of Brazil
A met a young brother that made me feel
That I could accomplish anything.
You see just like me he wanted to sing
He had no windows and no doors
He lived a simple life and was extremely poor
On top of all of that he had no eye sight,
but that didn't keep him from seein' the light
He said, what's it like in the USA,
and all I did was complain
He said-livin' here is paradise
He taught me paradise is in your mind
You know that
[Chorus]
[Bridge:]
Every time I turn on the T.V. (There's Hope)
Somebody's acting crazy (There's Hope)
If you let it, it will drive you crazy (There's Hope)
but I'm takin' back my power today (There's Hope)
Gas prices they just keep on rising (There's Hope)
The government they keep on lying
but we gotta keep on surviving
Keep living our truth and do the best we can do
10 years ago
6 comments:
Kara - I LOVE this blog entry. I think peace is a hard thing to come by these days in this crazy world we live in. We're constantly bombarded by people/media/ourselves trying to tell us that what we have isn't good enough and to seek out x,y,z...
I think that peace is the reward we get when our ideas are in sync with what God has planned for us as well. A little cheesy, I know, but I think it's true. What a blessing for you guys.
Anyway...love you guys lots and I really, really, really hope you can make it out here this summer. Jeff even told Chris he would take days off of work if you do...!!!
I also found the tortillas...as well as $90 worth of other food too. That's the problem with these places...you spend a ton at once.
This is ridiculous...here I am again. (Refer to next couple posts).
I'm totally with you on everything you said about being content in the here and now. And I wanted to add that if you think about it, our current situation IS the future that we once dreamed of, and yet here we are, living the dream we once dreamed about, and yet still sometimes longing for even more (or different). I don't want to live my life always looking forward to the next chapter, but loving where I am now.
I get it, I totally get where you are coming from and I've felt this exact way. I feel like what I have now isn't good enough but in perspective it is good, it is great and I just need to have patience and wait for the future and what it holds for me and my family. I have a hard time too, with the here and now, I keep looking a head to what we will, or might have or be at in our lives and it's not good for me. It's not good for any one. I think of that movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" and I think, he had perspective, I need that kind of perspective! Thanks for this awesome post! I need a reminder to live in the "here and now" and not in the "what we could have"
We've totally got a new perspective these last few months. It's so easy to compare and to wish for more, even when they are completely legitimate things. We've really learned that comfort and happiness are 2 totally different things. Being "homeless" and jobless, expecting our 3rd baby, we've learned a lot about gratitude and trying to still find joy amidst all the other crap! It's funny the things we have to go through in order to come to these realizations, isn't it?
Amanda,
It is too late to call you guys right now, but I want to come, and I am trying to work it with the husband. I know about Costco.. you don't even want to know how much I spent there the other day ah..... Thank you for the comment my dear dear friend.
Sarabeth,
Comment on my dear. I love the idea that our current situation is the future we once dreamed of. That is such a great concept. Sarabeth, I want to come and visit you this summer. My friend Margaret lives in the Seattle area, so we could just come up and hang out with all of you guys and let the kids bond :)
K-
I love all of your comments. Man, it is like we are kindred spirits (have you seen Anne of Green Gables) and we never even got to know each other that well. I love love reading your down to earth blog!
Adrienne,
I have been thinking about you a lot. You are amazing. I wish that I lived by you so I could lighten your load somehow. I need a number to reach you at since you are with the inlaws!!! I want to call you.
How nice is it when you finally know what your supposed to be doing and where your supposed to be. I also have been reminded so much lately to live in the moment. I in fact was playing freeze tag with the kids tonight. What fun!
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