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Friday, July 27, 2007

Moral Dilemna

The other day I had an interesting experience. Sofia and I were going into Winco and all of a sudden I turned to hear a guy, maybe in his late twenties, yeling at and verbally attacking his girlfriend. The woman was with an older man who looked old enough to be her dad... but obviously I have no idea who he was. The older man was trying to encourage the woman to get into the car, but she stood there as the guy continued to scream at her. I stood there watching by the entrance wondering what to do. It was my first instinct to want to walk over to see how I could help, but then I looked at Sofia and my pregnant bump and decided that I didn't know if an almost 7 month pregnant woman with a toddler (who I want to keep safe) would be the best person to get in the middle of the fight, so I decided that I would keep a safe distance and watch until the lady left safely. A minute later, two managers from the store came out to intervene, and they were able to escort the woman to her car.

After I walked into the store, I kind of had a moral dilemna in my head wondering if I did the right thing. I felt like I failed the lady outside. I felt like I was in one of those situations when 20/20 sets up a fake fight to see if people will help or if they will just keep on walking. I always thought that of course I would be the person to step in, but my mama protective instincts kicked in more than my good citizen instincts. What would other people have done in this situation??

I also wanted to write really quick that I am in need of a midwife. My doctor is going to be out of town on my due date, and I really feel more comfortable switching to a midwife (who will deliver in the hospital), than to a random doctor. Please let me know if you know of a good midwife in the area, because I really need to find one soon!!

6 comments:

Sharon said...

I say trust your mama instinct! A good citizen protects children too and there's nothing wrong if it's your own children you're protecting. Domestic violence, verbal or otherwise, is so dangerous to intervene in because it's so volatile. Police officers say it is one of the most dangerous calls they make because it's so unpredicatable - and they're the experts! So . . . I say you behaved as a responsible and good citizen by keeping your own children out of harms way as well as a watchful eye at a safe distance for the lady. A quick call to the police was probably the best safeguard for her.

Tonya said...

I agree with Sharon!

The Growing Hennans said...

You are 100% correct in doing what you did. The most anyone could have expected of you being pregnant and with a toddler in tow was to tell someone inside who could come and intervene and it seems like someone had already done that. If I had been there without my son, that is probably all I would have done anyway. As a female going against an abusive male, I wouldn't have felt very courageous - as Sharon said, the cops even hate those calls. You have to keep you and yours safe - that is the bottom line! Good call!

As far as a midwife goes, I can't give you a personal recommendation, but I have had friends who have used the ones at the Samaritan group, and they liked them all....

Kara's Blog said...

Thanks for the feedback ladies.. that makes me feel better. Miranda, I was hoping to find just one midwife.. but since I am not having good luck finding one who can deliver in a hospital... I think that I will probably end up going with that group.

Mr. or Mrs. Nemelka said...

I've often thought about that 20/20 show I've seen. It also reminds me of that sociology study they did back in NYC in the 70's or something where some lady gets murdered in her apt and is screaming for help and although the city streets were crowded and had tons of witnesses, no one helped b/c they kept assuming someone else would?? I know I've fallen guilty to that human behavior before. It's just scary as a woman and I think it's very natural for your mom instinct to override your humanitarian instinct. Good luck with the midwife thing. Although, my dr was out of town when I delivered too and so I just got the on call dr and I actually ended up liking him BETTER than my real dr...so, you never know. Good luck

Anita said...

Hey sista! I agree with my mama about your moral dilemna...but what I am really commenting for is to let you know that I started a blog!! its warnickmarkandanita.blogspot.com, so feel free to visit anytime!!:-)