Friday, November 12, 2010

What's on My Mind

*I have gotten my feelings hurt over a couple of different incidents in the last couple of days, and I have been trying to follow the advice my friend Tonya gave me (that she received from a good friend). When you want to vent, you can vent 3 different times to 3 different people (which is easy to do considering I have 4 sisters before I even start counting friends), and then you have to drop it and try to get over it...end of story. I found that this is really helpful. Venting is good, but sometimes when I vent too much, I end up getting more worked up reliving the whole scenario again and again. If I get my venting over with and commit to being done, it is much easier to get my head and heart in a more forgiving place. The thing is.... life is too short to waste your precious time and energy on things that don't really matter, because often the things I get hurt over are not that important in the grand scheme of things. I can sometimes make myself physically sick when I worry about something, and that does not help me be a good mom/wife in the present. I so wish that I was a little less sensitive, but while I continue to work on that, I can at least work on letting go of things a little faster. Have you ever noticed people who are always dwelling on the negative and making little things into big drama? I don't want to be one of those people. I also realized that I am not very good often times at taking my feelings to Heavenly Father to help me heal. I need to be better about that. We are not meant to heal on our own.
What do you all do to help shake things off that bother you? I have to say that I think my pregnant hormones automatically put a few strikes against me. I feel a little more negative/tired/cynical when I am hormonal, so I look forward to a more normal Kara (which will happen when..... since I will be nursing for a long time??).
*Day lights savings time really sucks. My little guy who used to wake up at 6:00, now consistently wakes up between 5:00-5:30, and sometimes earlier. On the positive side, it definitely makes it less painful to wake up early to go walking with my neighbor when I am already up :). I am in such a better mood when I exercise in the morning, and I come home in a happy mood. That is how I need to start my day. I am not so much of an early morning person, but I am realizing that as life gets busier and busier, I will have to make exercising a priority in the morning or it probably won't happen.

*I am happy to say that both of my kids dress themselves almost every day. Sometimes their outfit choices are unique, but most days I don't even fight it, because I want to reinforce the fact that my kids can dress themselves!! Gabe usually ends up with his underwear and pants on backwards, but he doesn't seem to mind, so I guess I shouldn't since I'm not the one with the wedgie :).

*We are taking a break from Sofia's preschool in the winter. Sofia loves her preschool, and although it is a great preschool, it involves a ton of work and coordination from the parents (it is a co-op preschool). For awhile I was feeling kind of crappy like, "What of parent am I not to be able to even handle doing preschool?" My mom was here last Friday and saw how hard it is to get Gabe out of the door in the morning after him waking up at 5:00 (he is a homebody who loves playing at home), and the whole process that includes insane parking, walking with both kids, finding something to do with Gabe since there isn't a ton of time to go home, and then dealing with parking and a tantruming Gabe as I try to peel him away from Sofia's classroom, and all of the volunteering in the classroom and childcare swapping I do with other parents when they are volunteering. My mom (the mother of 6 children) asked me how I planned on adding a baby to that chaos in January. It was so good to hear permission and validation from someone who has raised 6 children, that I was maybe trying to do too much with a new baby thrown into the equation. Thanks mom. Sofia loves preschool, but I will take the kids to an art class once a week so she still has something special, and I can do fun stuff with her at home. I also will be taking a break from teaching in the winter, and I am really feeling like it is best for my family right now to simplify as much as possible so we can all make a smooth transition to new baby Becerra.

*My kids continue to be as cute as ever. Yesterday, I was mean to Gabe when he was trying to wrestle with me and accidentally kicked me in the face. He ran off to his room to cry (he likes to pout in private). Sofia immediately ran to his room to try to comfort him, and I heard her saying, "Are you okay Gabe? You just made a mistake didn't you? We all make mistakes Gabe, but it's okay Gabe, we can all repent." I sat in the other room laughing and amazed. Whose child is that?? Not that we don't try to teach her good things, but I feel like she is more spiritually in tune than I am half of the time. My kids love each other so much, and that is one of the things that brings me the greatest joy. I hope that even when they fight, that they will always love each other this much.
*Speaking of living in the moment, I need to stop this long post, I have a little boy who wants some book reading and snuggling.


Warrior Princess said...

kara! i love you. i feel the same as you a lot. just emotional and needing a good vent. and needing to talk about it. miss seeing you. hope your around for the holidays. :) love ya!

Sam said...

I totally understand how you feel. Keep close to the Spirit and you will know how and when and if you need to change. Love you :)

Amanda Nemelka said...

Are you seriously already having your baby in a few months? I guess it goes by really fast for the one that isn't pregnant! I might have to manage a trip out to visit after this kiddo is born...I'm sure I could find a cheap flight, right? Jeff could totally manage w/o long as he doesn't break a leg! ha ha.