Sunday, January 10, 2010

My Weird Theory

I think that I am pretty friendly gal. I make friends pretty easily, and I love chatting with and getting to know people from all walks of life. I think that I get along with 95% of the population, and I don't usually encounter drama with other woman folk. It's just not my style. I really really hate drama.
So, I mentioned before that 95% of the population I can get along with just fine, but every once in a while, I meet someone who I can just tell I completely rub them the wrong way. I see eye rolls when I make my light hearted cheesy jokes. I can see eye rolls when I act like a spaz or when I'm..... basically just being myself.
The other day as I was contemplating a few people I have met who I felt like are/were completely bugged by me... I noticed a pattern. This may sound like a crazy theory, but here it is folks. I've noticed that the people who tend to not especially enjoy my company tend to have a common denominator: people who are really good at math. You know, like engineers....... and all of those other professions that require awesome math skills. When I realized this, I wondered... why? This is what I came up with. People who are really good at math tend to like equations. They like predictability and the power to figure the equation out and for things to make sense. I am not a predictable equation. I change the subject mid-sentence, I might bust out into song spontaneously, I am unorganized, and I don't make sense like an equation does. These people like things to be logical... which I am not always. I do realize that my theory can be proven wrong. I am sure that I can get along with many people who excel in math, and that on the flip side, there may be some English majors who find me quite annoying too.
What is the point of all this nonsense you may ask? I have noticed lately that I care way too much about what people think about me. Not enough to be something I'm not obviously, but I always feel baffled when I feel like I am very friendly and nice to someone, and I get rudeness in response. The truth is, that all of us will encounter people who rub us the wrong way... it's just human nature. There will always be some people that no matter how nice I am (or maybe because I'm nice to them) to them... for whatever reason.... we won't mesh. People have things going on in their lives and issues and insecurities that shape how they act. I can not be super sophisticated or articulate, or whatever. I am me. I am not perfect, but I have good intentions and l should feel good about the fact that I am able to get along with many kinds of people. Do any of you struggle with this? I am hoping that as I grow and mature and gain some wisdom, that I won't be so affected and care about how other people see me. I need to continue to receive inspiration on how I live my life and always try to be better, and love life and that is all I can do. It does not matter in the end what everyone thought about me, but what kind of person I am. Well, thanks for listening friends. This is just something that I have been thinking about lately. Any words from the wise? Not that I care what you think :).


Margaret said...

Debunking your theory right here: Austin is an engineer and he thinks you are the bees knees.
But I do like your thinking. That was very funny to read.

Steve & Sarabeth said...

Oh, Kara, I totally relate. I mean about caring way too much about what others think of me. And not so much people who I just meet (because frankly, if someone makes harsh judgements against me w/o even getting to know me, then I don't really care too much) - more I worry about what people who know me think about me. I really just want people to love me and smile at the thought of me, but when I get the impression someone doesn't like me, I let it consume me. Not good. Definitely something for me to work on.

And for the record, I like math (wouldn't say I'm brilliant at it though)...and you are one of my favorite people ever to be around!

Margaret said...

Oh Kara, to address the other part of this post, I feel the same way. I will sometimes get social anxiety where after I've been with people I go home and think of everything I said and how it most likely came out wrong and they think I'm a spaz. But like you said, you are who you are, faults and all. No one will ever be liked by everyone.
I love you though.

Jeff said...

I think the common denominator of people not liking you is that they are stupid. Ha. That's my theory. You're the best and anyone who doesn't like you is just an idiot.



Kara said...

I can't think a person in the world who wouldn't like you. Oh, and when I said I don't like girl drama, I wasn't including the roommate kind where people hide toilet paper or anything like that :). That kind was fun.
Margaret and Sarabeth, I really want to come and visit both of you in Washington. Maybe in the spring I could come up with the kids and stay with each of you for a couple of nights and play??
I worry about both People who are getting to know me and people who know me. Let's work on it together. You have a good heart Sarabeth, and people are crazy not to see it.
This is why I love you. Homegirls have to have each other's backs :). I will call you soon!!

Niki said...

Hey I have a theory of my own! I know some of the people you are talkig about, and or have heard of them! I do believe the reason you all rub the wrong way isn't because of their ability to analyze you, but it is because they are not quite comfortable with themselves like you are, they are envious of your carefree silliness and wish that they could have that in some way.
You are special and the know it. They are ordinary and they only want a taste of what you enjoy in life everyday :)

Jaime said...

ditto Nikki!!

Jaime said...

Opps, I put one to many k's in that!

Darcie said...

Kara - can I copy and paste your thoughts into my blog?? I, too, worry way too much about what people think of me. It means that we are kind hearted and caring. That's a good thing. Not good though to worry so much about what others think. I'll be working on that one also.
I loved you from the minute I met you! After reading your blog, I have discovered that we are a lot alike. Enjoy being yourself because you are great!!

Karli said...

You're awesome Kara. And I totally get it. Only, most of the people I notice giving me strange looks happen to be in my husband's family. Those poor people just don't "get" me. But judging from the previous comments on here, you're pretty darn good at surrounding yourself with the people who do get it. Those others can go ahead and live lonely miserable Kara-less lives :)

Katie and Bryson said...

I have trouble dropping my boundaries with the strictly literal crowd, because my humor and sense of understanding the world is always drenched in irony and sarcasm. Not mean-spirited, though, just a fun appreciation for the discrepancies of life. So when I see a tongue-pierced Mr. Potato Head come out of my daughter's creative constructing, I laugh and post it on my blog. I also realize that trying to translate why some things are funny to the strictly literal crowd is pretty much impossible; YES, I know what it feels like to be misunderstood. P.S. I was never good at math, is that why we're friends?

Oregon Wedding and Portrait Photographer Sara Lil Photography said...

I don't how anyone can not like you?! You are instantly lovable!

I really don't care what anyone thinks these days and it feels great! I do my best to be genuine and kind, but I'm finally living for me :) It took a lot of family tragedy and personal growth to get me to this point, but it feels good.

I don't know you all that well yet but you seem to live a very authentic life and that's honorable. I agree with Niki -- your special and that can intimidate people. I hope your silliness rubs off on me! I've been wanting more laughter in my life :)

Kara said...

Thanks for the love all. OH... if only I lived closer to most of you!