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Saturday, August 16, 2008

Whatever Lady

Nothing is more annoying than when someone tries to question your competency as a parent. So we are at the fountains downtown having a merry old time. Sofia has already made friends with every kid there, and Gabe is crawling through the water with more gust than most of the older kids. Speaking of Gabe crawling, if any of you have seen him lately, you know that he is quick, crazy, and fearless. As he is crawling up onto a rock/seat with me right next to him, a lady heads towards me from across the fountain to grace me with a special visit and to say this in a condescending tone:"You really need to watch your baby better, because that rock is slick, and he is going to fall off of it and get really hurt." As she turns to walk away, all I could think of to yell out was "Mind your own business." (I've never been good with quick comebacks)Ahrr... I know my baby and his capabilities, and I was right next to him anyways. Maybe she was trying to be helpful and maybe I am overly sensitive (as most parents are), but I just did not need that. So, what comments have you all gotten from the crazy woman at the park, or the grumpy man at the grocery store? Please share with me, so I can know that I am not the only dead beat parent out there :).

14 comments:

juliette said...

Watch out for those cranky betties at the folk club thrift store. I have been reprimanded for allowing Trevor to play with plastic cups in the housewares section (I was just happy he didn't grab something glass, but apparently their standards are higher.) I also have friends who expect a two-year-old to behave like a little adult and make many, many comments...I can't wait til they get one too!

adrienne said...

Since my kids are so close in age, I get a lot of comments about how busy I must be. A couple months ago, when I was still pregnant, we were at Ikea and Denver was paying while I had the other two kids with me. I saw these two old ladies whispering to each other and staring at me, which I didn't think too much of. I assumed that they were just commenting to each other about the fact that I was really pregnant and had 2 little kids. Then they kept staring at me and the stares looked more like "That poor, stupid girl! Why would you do that to yourself?" It was so rude, so I said to Denver (but loud enough to be overheard) "I'm being gawked at." They literally watched me and whispered until we left. I was a little surprised. Too bad I could actually here what they were saying. I'm sure they thought we were some teenage couple who didn't know anything about birth control!!

Margaret said...

Uh, well what were you thinking? Those rocks are slick Kara, you really should be more careful. I kid. I haven't had too many parents approach me yet, but I have felt the snide marks behind my back and seen the exaggerated eye rolls.
I get irked, because 99% of the moms I know love their kids and are doing the best they can. Women need to help each other, not criticize.

Katie and Bryson said...

That would be me up until the end of the story. I would have yelled at her and then my baby would have fallen and I would be doubly mad.

K Harker said...

Oh kara, you are not a dead beat parent, but don't you love how know-it-alls think we are.
I had an old lady follow me around the grocery store for quite a while. I had both my kids with me and I didn't think much of it until she approached me and said some thing to the effect of "I've been watching your son closely and he keeps standing up in his seat, he might fall out, you might want to strap him in etc. etc." I just looked at her and said some what sarcastically "Oh he's a boy he's fine, if I make him sit he'll scream the whole time and I'm sure that wouldn't bother you at all" She didn't know what to say after that.

I think we've all had experiences like this and every time I have one they just make me laugh, what do they know about my kid any way? You handled it very well though, I think I would have been a bit more snooty or mean, which isn't good.

Shahnaz said...

This is what I get on a somewhat regular basis, and it ticks me off a little more every time it happens....so whenever I'm out with Owen he gets many, many, many comments about his curls. Usually people just admire them and go on about their business. However, several times now people (always women) have followed up the "what beautiful curls you have" comment with "too bad it's wasted on a boy." It makes me want to smack them. I'm sure they mean no harm, but a 3-year-old doesn't need to hear that something that so many people comment about was "wasted" on him.

breanna said...

i was just complaining about this yesterday!!!!!!!!! we were at the bank (on a busy corner in new orleans). right before i was done elijah ran to the door to hold it open while renee and i walked out. there was also an old black lady standing inside at the door. we walked out and elijah ran to the edge of the sidewalk...he got in trouble and then we held hands. he refused to hold mine, but would hold renee's and i held renee's...good enough for me! she would wrestle him to the ground before she would let go of his hand.

so then the lady comes out...i'm sure she's raised her share of kids...and she was like (exact words here) "let me tell you something" i turened and stared...we were literally 6 feet from our car that was parked on the street and elijah was closest to the parked cars, but no moving ones. and then she ripped the kids hands apart and tried to make elijah hold my hand and said "don't let him do you that way" and elijah in turn started throwing a fit and renee just stared at her because she had obviously crossed some boundries...

i'm not quick with words either...i'm sure i just rolled my eyes or something and looked so annyoed. we walked the remaining 3 feet to our car. while i held the screaming boy's hand and renee followed behind...how is that safer? i now i have one child walking alone...

Cami said...

I get all kind of comments with 3, 4 or all 5 of the kids. It's usually something about my hands being full or I'm a busy mom. I just try to remmeber how grateful I am with my hands full and being exhasted at night. Not to say I don't get irritated with people. Why do they feel like it's okay to say whatever it is they want. Your a great mom. But remember those rocks are slippery. JK!

Elizabeth said...

Kara- First I must say, I love the photos you take of your kids. We just got a sweet new camera and I have gotten some good ideas from your adorable pictures! Also, how did you get that cool link to mormon.org on your blog? I'm trying to figure it out and I am just struggling. Drop me a line on my blog and do share when you have a moment! ;)

Kara's Blog said...

Thanks for all of your stories ladies!!

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for the info, Kara! Such a great way to put our blogs to even better use!

Amanda Nemelka said...

Kara--you are a fantastic mom so no worries! I've been soooo incredibly busy I feel like my head might pop off soon, but I'm trying to keep it all together...we'll have to chat soon! lots of love.

Marianne said...

You know me I have no shame or manners I would have told her up yours and added a few swear words. But that's just the Chicago girl in me!

Tonya said...

Marianne--I freakin' LOVE you girlfriend!!!